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Five Nights At Freddy‘s is a fun little Indie Horror gaming series done in the style of “classics” like Night Trap (minus the cheesy cut-scenes). Taking place in a haunted pizzeria not unlike Chuck E. Cheese, the player is cast in the role of 3rd Shift Security Guard, and must survive six brutal hours, several nights in a row, at his office without the aid of weaponry (or even his own legs). His enemies? An assortment of cutesy animatronics which may or may not harbor the souls of murdered children. The protagonists must track the animatronics through cameras and use a (limited) variety of means to dissuade or hinder the malevolent beings from entering the office and killing the player. Though the plot holes in the game’s story line are many, Five Nights at Freddy’s and it’s follow ups provide an excellent challenge despite its’ simplistic game play and presentation. The game has earned overwhelmingly positive reviews from critics and gamers a like, and at this point there are three games in the series.

The games are all well done, each installment provides a new level of challenges and has its’ own unique flavor while still keeping the feel of the previous version.  Each night is more difficult than the last, as more and more characters become “active” or change their roaming patterns. The intrigue of the “mystery” at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria is amplified by the fact that the story is only revealed through audio messages and easter egg imagery. Nothing is laid out in a concrete manner, so the player must replay the game multiple times to get the “full” story. Promo for each game is minimal, and mainly done through imagery and hidden messages. Scott Cawthon, the series creator, seems to rely on the obsessive fan base and YouTube gamers to do all the work for him (smart). Often the game is released as the same day as the demo.

Having played all three games, I can tell you they are worth the hype. So long as you don’t think too deeply into the story, it provides plenty of fun jump scares, challenges and a genuinely spooky atmosphere. And the price is unbeatable! The only real stain in this series is that it seems to have attracted a very rabid following among pre-teens and the intellectually challenged. I’ve encountered my fair share of dumb, snooty, bitter, and obsessive fan boys, but these tykes make the No Mutants Allowed forum frequenters seem like well-adjusted and insanely creative people (hey, at least those hipster jerks make some very cool mods).

Now dumb fan bases wouldn’t be a problem so long as they are avoidable. Unfortunately, the 10 – 13 year olds that make up a huge bulk of the fandom insist on making nuisances of themselves. No longer content on making bad fan fiction (and even more disturbing slash fiction), they insert themselves in every conversation that remotely involves their beloved franchise, not to mention clogging YouTube with their annoying videos and spamming various forums and wiki’s. It becomes a huge issue for any normal player seeks out information on the series. If I am trying to look up helpful strategies to beat the game  or get a better ending, the last thing I want to see is fifty YouTube videos with some obnoxious moron screaming and hamming it up while playing the game (in another post I will have to express my extreme dislike for obnoxious mugging idiots on YouTube), nor do I want to see a wiki or forum vandalized with spamming about dumb topics and theories written with appalling grammar and atrocious spelling that makes the whole post barely readable. Not to mention that in an effort to get the hits, sites actually start CATERING to these moronic little toads, meaning moderators neglect doing their jobs filtering out spam and useless information and more useless videos pop up with idiots trying desperately to get subscriptions while spewing misinformation on the series.

Perhaps worst of all, their moronic behavior brings a level of disrespect to the franchise. No one wants to be associated with this trollish nonsense and people begin viewing the series itself as just cheap, trendy teeny-bopper crap, thus tarnishing the legacy of a decent indie game and a hardworking, put-upon programmer.

What needs to stop:

1) Crap spamming on forums and wiki’s! We have all had enough with hundreds of posts STILL debating the already established characters GENDERS in the franchise! It doesn’t even make the SLIGHTEST difference in the storyline!

2) Purple Guy IS NOT Phone Guy, it’s basically been established that purple guy was the previous nightwatchmen in FNAF2 (particularly concerning ESTABLISHED DEATH TIMELINES) so to try to claim the opposite makes that individual look all the more ridiculous! And no, no one cares what some derpy video game “theorist” on YouTube says about it, stop bringing it up!

3) In fact NO ONE, absolutely NO ONE wants to hear any more juvenile fan THEORIES about the game!! Especially when the theories have been POSTED ABOUT and discussed a million times!! We also don’t want to see rambling for six pages or on YouTube! Most of your theories suck, are repeats, and consist mainly whatever you pull out of your butt!

4) THINK BEFORE YOU POST! Especially on wiki’s where information is insanely easy to find. LOOK at the facts PRESENTED, because trying to contort information to come up with a version YOU want and thus clutter a site with false information and ridiculous assumptions is a jerk move that annoys the crap out of thinking individuals!

5) PROOFREAD! No one expects a graduate thesis but it only takes a few seconds to add correct punctuation and change spelling! Make it legible or don’t waste our time.

6) NO MORE PERSON CAM OR REACTION VIDEOS! No one wants to see your ugly, unwashed mug twisting your face into unrealistic expressions and screaming at the audience! And no more commentary if you have nothing to add to the game play!! The only exceptions are for those that are actually entertaining and funny, which excludes 99% of the hardcore fan base.

7) GIVE US AN INFORMATIVE TITLE OF WHAT’S ON YOUR VIDEO! Warn us if you are going to add (stupid) commentary, warn us if you haven’t a CLUE what you are doing during gameplay, warn us if your footage is barely visible or shaky and off focus, and especially warn us if it involves face cam.

8) And finally, if you are under the age of 16, please restrain yourself from posting on forums and message boards, or adding to ANY and ALL wiki’s, video sites. Or until you are mature enough to add something constructive to the conversation and know how to play well with the adults.

I have such a headache.

EDIT: While browsing YouTube I came across a few Honest Trailer’s dedicated to each installment. They were quite funny, as are a great many of their videos, and I encourage you to check them out.

Watching the fan boys spaz out in the comment section is just further proving the point I am making. They don’t seem to grasp the concept of SATIRE, and instead scream and copy each other’s posts to attack Smoosh. Gee, I wonder why there is such a backlash, could it be that the fan base is composed mostly of just a bunch of little brats whose mommies should limit their internet time? Seriously, go outside and throw a ball kiddies.

And no, the story line isn’t that deep, and I am including the “hidden” content material. The entire story of the franchise can be summed up in a few paragraphs, INCLUDING THE BACKSTORY. This isn’t a game based on Lovecraftian or Tolkien lore, or written by Stanley Kubrik. It also has GLARING plot holes. But keep making twenty posts saying otherwise. I guess these jerks think if they say something over and over again that will make it so. Can you imagine if they spent half the amount of energy that they waste on this franchise on school work?

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