If you will recall in an earlier rant I talked about how I hated any type of paranormal investigation type show, largely due to the inaccuracies and overall cheese factor in the presentations. Despite this I recorded and recently sat down to watch some show on the Chiller network called Real Fear. Why? Because the show was taking a look at four iconic horror motion pictures (Amityville Horror, Poltergeist, Silent Hill, and the Mothman Prophecies) and the stories behind it. It promises to feature rare news footage and interviews with the people who “lived” through the real life events that inspired these films as well as those that investigated the case(s). It was two hours long so I figured that was a potential half hour devoted to each topic, which could be quite intriguing. Sadly that is not what I got (but then I shouldn’t have been surprised).
No, what I got instead was about 30 minutes OVERALL of decent behind the scenes footage and interviews and A LOT of filler namely in the form of the four idiot hosts and their “bad vibes” themed “investigations.” God, I hate these famewhore morons that networks like Travel, Sci Fi, and Chiller pull out of the woodwork. They have ZERO qualifications for…well anything…other than once they CLAIMED to have had an “experience.” Lame.
Now let’s not get this twisted: I don’t give a spit if someone believes (or doesn’t) in demons, ghosts, or poltergeists. What I do give a damn about is insulting my intelligence and wasting my time. That is exactly what these morons did. The main idiot in charge was apparently chosen because she has family from Centralia, which could be kind of cool and would be a great way to get interviews from people who remember the incident and the subsequent evacuation of the town. No, instead she played it off almost like it was her OWN experience. She and her companions had a real nasty habit of almost putting words into people’s mouths and trying to turn historical events and “ghost” stories into their own and making it all about them. I hate the constant mugging and “I have a bad feeling” or “this place makes me sad” or the ever CONSTANT “did you hear that?! I heard something!” and “I heard a footstep and there was NO ONE THERE” (except of course for the freaking CAMERA CREW FOLLOWING YOU MORONS AROUND! – oh, but we are supposed to believe they are “all alone” and “this could be dangerous”, right?)
The truly sad thing about this show (2 HOURS LONG!) was that there were some interesting behind the scenes events and such that were completely overshadowed by the over the top “scary” music, constant mugging and bad acting by the “investigators” and stupid “dramatic” camera movements. Here’s a hint: I can do without the extreme closeups of the interviewer and interviewees’ faces (because that’s how you know that they are SERIOUS) and the ever stupid effect of having the person standing still while the camera whips around them over and over (making the viewer nauseous) or them walking toward the camera like they “mean business”. It looks so cheesy and stupid. And it is WAY OVERUSED!!
Oh, but I love this: During The Mothman Prophecies segment (which is actually an interesting story, regardless of whether or not you believed it was a supernatural force, or government conspiracy,or whatever), these four losers decide to go “investigate” the area of the infamous 1966 sighting (near the TNT factory), one reporting hearing “wings flapping” and another heard something “heavy” hitting nearby. BS. I call absolute and utter BS. NOTHING happened but a bunch of them ran like idiot eight year olds. And it’s sooooo funny how they would go to these sites and have CONSTANT “experiences”. Without these pointless, cringeworthy “investigations” we could have had more interviews and real event footage to view. Nahh, that would take effort. Let’s run around and scream like children instead.
By the way, they don’t check their facts. AT ALL. For instance, I’m pretty certain the stories of real corpses being used in Poltergeist is just a myth, and in the case of Amityville that the Lutz’ were a bunch of wacked out, dysfunctional hucksters (allegedly), and why didn’t they talk about Defeo’s supposed mafia ties? And in the case of the Silver Bridge, only two of the victims weren’t found. And Centralia isn’t completely abandoned, there are still a few families that exist. These are just some of the discrepancies I remember.
Also take a shot every time they say “Indian burial ground”. I didn’t realize back in yonder years we imported the bodies of countless people from INDIA and had them buried all over the place. Or that “ancient INDIAN burial grounds” are more haunted than any other “burial ground” (or cemetaries). Apparently there was an “Indian” slaughtered every few feet (at least that’s what I’m getting from the OVER REACTIONS from these morons (have I said “MORON” and “IDIOTS” enough?). And by the way, getting ethnic and cultural mixed up and then making jokes about stomping on graves is OFFENSIVE! (I hope they get sued – I don’t ever want to see these idiots on my screen again).
I just…I can’t with these shows. I could rant about more but my brain is absolutely fried from TWO HOURS of this mess. Instead, let me give you some links that will be faaaaar more educational and entertaining than this mess.
The Amityville Horror –
The Mothman Prophecies –
Centralia (Silent Hill) –
These are just a starting point (though note the amount of facts I was able to find with just a little lazy bit of research – what’s their excuse?). It is late and I am tired, so I’ll try to find more links later and will re-edit. Also bear in mind that real life is often scarier than fiction, so these idiots trying to give supernatural explanations to EVERYTHING is corny and boring. The real facts are FAR more entertaining.