a movie so bad its funny, crap, garbage, lack of creativity, lack of originality, people who never should have gotten a book deal, Stephanie Meyer, The Room, things that make you go "yuck", Tommy Wiseau, Twilight
So I was watching Tommy Wiseau’s cult “classic,” The Room, for the billionth time (it’s hysterically bad) and it just dawned on me how similar Wiseau is to Twilight “author” Stephanie Meyer. Think about it. They are both terrible (I mean just abysmally incompetent) in their fields, they are both shady persons who can’t handle criticism, they both are famous for producing utter hack garbage (that eventually led to their infamy), and they both have giant egos. Now, I could make this a super long post pointing out all their flaws, but that’s been done to death and explained far better than I could by more talented bloggers/critics, so I’m just going to break it down to the absolute basics.
Tommy Wiseau: Known for The Room, the “Citizen Kane” of bad films. Every flaw that can be made in a film (in terms of technical, directorial, story-telling, and acting), is made in this film.
Stephanie Meyer: Known for her cheesy, overly cliched, (and argued by some to be a little racist and sexist), un-researched, non-proofread series of “Vampire Romance” books, The Twilight “Saga.” It’s well known for being poorly written and contrived.
Tommy Wiseau: His main character, Johnny, is supposed to be the “perfect” man. He’s caring, generous (to a fault), successful, and a fantastic lover. Or at least, that’s what we are told constantly. Truth be told, he comes off creepy, weird, repulsive, and stupid. Since Wiseau insisted on playing the part himself, we might assume that what we are seeing is a reflection of how Wiseau views himself.
Stephanie Meyer: Her main character, Bella Swan (lol), is intelligent and beautiful, but so modest and insecure she just can’t see how wonderful she is despite the fact that everybody at the school she goes to is mesmerized by her and all the main guys (the “hot” ones) want her. Problem is, through Meyer’s writing she comes off as dumb, self-absorbed, whiney, rude, and mean-spirited. And as for looks, well, she’s portrayed by Kristen Stewart in the films (I think that says it all). The character is described in a way that she is clearly reflective of how Stephanie Meyer saw herself as a teenager. Bella IS Stephanie (an ego stroke; hence the first-person perspective). And like Wiseau’s Johnny, Bella is portrayed by terrible actor. And the whole series is supposedly based on a wet-dream Stephanie had one night. Gross.
The Room: Originally intended for the stage, the whole film relies on tired plot lines (and side plots that go nowhere) that feel cut-and-paste from other movies. It feels like the script was on auto-pilot. The editing is terrible, the directing is lazy (for example the exact same sex scenes are repeated), the characters are one note and the bad acting by almost the entire cast is legendary. The dialogue is cringe-worthy, it’s as if Wiseau became fascinated with certain catchphrases and decided to use them over and over (such as “don’t worry about it”).
The Twilight “Saga”: Let’s face it, the whole series could be easily brought down to one book. The main protagonist never faces any real obstacles so the plot was majorly weak. Meyer is a lazy writer as there were multiple plot points that went no where, nothing was researched, and she relied on cliches and stereotypes for characters,and she was inconsistent with her fantasy/story-telling logic and canon, and she also doesn’t seem to understand the most basic concepts of biology or other sciences. Like Wiseau, Stephanie clings to certain words and phrases (“chagrin” for example) and it’s clear she wrote the entire series without proofreading. And yeah, in the movies the acting of the three main characters is terrible, not to mention there is zero chemistry among the trio (not that it was any better in the books).
Narrative Flaws: Both rely heavily on lengthy monologues packed with lengthy description and repetition. They don’t seem to understand the concept of “show, don’t tell”.
Both had relied on marketing instead of critical approval. Wiseau had a large billboard promoting his movie set up in a prominent location (Highland Ave) for five years, and we all know the deal with Twilight.
Both have had their films were famously riffed by multiple groups, the most well-known being Rifftrax.
Both have cheesy, awful soundtracks.
Both feature passionless sex scenes/romances.
Both creators can’t handle criticism. While Wiseau has come to embrace the cult status of his film (which has reached Rocky Horror status) he refuses to acknowledge the faults within the film itself. And of course, we all remember the incident with Nostalgia Critic. Meyer repeatedly blasts her critics, claiming her characters and plots rival that of classic romances found in Shakespeare and Jane Austen stories.
Both come off as shady people. Wiseau financed his movie through means he’s never elaborated on. There is at least one accusation that Wiseau didn’t really direct his own film (as he claimed in the credits), there have been strange firings and allegedly erratic behavior by Wiseau on set, and so forth. When analyzed, some have said Meyer has shown in her interviews and her work that she’s obsessed with growing old and doesn’t seem (according to some) to enjoy being a mother to boys. Many have said her “saga” shows racial insensitivity and appears to have a definite misogynist bent (such as Bella having no desire to go to college and wanting nothing more than to be married and pregnant).
And of course, both are obsessed with their creations. Wiseau still attends many, many showings of his film and Stephanie is likewise obsessed with her characters (going so far to say she’d leave her husband for Edward Cullen) and basically saying her protagonist far exceeds the likes of The Princess Bride’s Buttercup in every meaningful way. However, at least Stephanie has attempted to write other stories (which, unfortunately for her, no one cares about).
Of course, neither one seem to have much of a future in their field. While they could (possibly, though doubtful) make more money on future train-wrecks, neither will likely be known for anything else. They are the shallow, “one-hit wonders” of their fields. Of course, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. J. K. Rowling will forever be known for her Harry Potter franchise, as Tolkien will forever be known for his Lord of the Rings/Hobbit books. However, their legacy is one of great crafting and intelligent storytelling, which is nowhere near the level of waste that Wiseau and Meyer created.
And that, in a nutshell, is my comparison of Meyer and Wiseau. This topic went way longer than I intended (with tons of grammatical mistakes I’m sure) and I could have gone in much greater detail, but I’m rocking on 36 hours of no sleep.