How often has this scenario popped up:
Guy A likes Girl A because Girl A is cute, friendly, and they have similar interests. Because Girl A is nice and thinks Guy A is fun, she enjoys sharing a friendship with Guy A. However, Guy A has a crush on Girl A. He thinks they would make a great couple and that they should go out. He keeps hinting they should become more than friends. Girl A would like to keep things friendly because she’s just not into him like that, so she gently turns him down. But because Guy A is a “nice guy” he can’t figure out why Girl A won’t go out with him, even when she is single. So Guy A starts telling anyone that will listen, “I’m a nice guy. We have good times as friends. I would treat her great. Why do girls always go with jerks?”. He starts feeling resentful because she keeps turning him down. He plays the love-lorn Romeo to anyone that will listen, pointing out all the reasons why they get along and any of her failed relationships until finally he gets people to agree with him. He continues pressuring Girl A to go out with him. He thinks he is being subtle, but often not. He tries to buy her things. He tries to take her on (covert) dates. He gets his friends to say what a cute couple they would make and start pressuring her to go out with him. When she won’t, Guy A complains again that girls only like jerks, and why, WHY won’t she go out with him? “Can’t she see he would be the perfect guy for her?”
Guy A doesn’t sound quite so nice.
That’s because he is not. Nice guys don’t finish last; whiney, selfish, entitled jerks do though.
I’ve been in that situation too many times myself. It’s ridiculous. So let’s set the record straight, once and for all.
First off, being “nice” isn’t a badge of honor. It isn’t something hard to do. It’s called “being a decent human being”. When guys talk about how much of a “nice guy” they are, it makes me want to vomit. As if being nice is such a difficult achievement, like I’m supposed to swoon or pin a medal on them for not being a jerk. Please. If you want people to like you and want to be around you, you act like a decent human being. It’s not something that should automatically make you a “babe magnet.” Grow up.
But a person isn’t such a “nice guy” when they spend half their time with a “desirable” female friend (in this case Guy A and Girl A) whining about how they are such a “nice guy” and sooo sick of girls not wanting them because they aren’t jerks. That’s insanely insulting and self-serving. Just because a girl isn’t into him, she must be defective somehow? Are you kidding me??
Some great relationships start out as friendships, sure, but if a person feels ZERO chemistry for another then that’s that. Consider the other person in the permanent friend zone. Trying to force it out of someone is so such a grossly self serving and nasty thing to do. It’s also abusing a friendship. If a person isn’t interested now, they aren’t ever likely to be. To ask someone to “settle” is doing nothing more than trying to deride that person’s own potential happiness to the selfish benefit of another.
Chemistry has little to do with looks or personality, some people just don’t have anything in them that sparks that romantic ting in another. It doesn’t make anyone inferior, it’s just part of our biological urges. There is, however, only so many times a person can say “no” to someone before they start to purposely avoid them and begin to hate them. Get the picture?
Just because you are a “nice” guy does not mean you are entitled to another person, even the “girl of your dreams”! Move on and stop being so obvious, obnoxious, and pathetic.
And while we are at it, let’s also get this straight: Women aren’t interested in a long term relationship with jerks or bad boys, unless they have issues. So stop repeating that misogynist bull crap, because we all know it’s a bunch of bunk lies made up by bitter men feeling inferior due to their own failures in love. Stop projecting.
In fact, let’s use their own sceneaio against them. Why doesn’t anyone ask Guy A to “settle”? He’s so lonely after all, he just wants a “nice” girl. So why doesn’t he get one? It isn’t hard to find nice girls, they are everywhere. Or maybe they are often over-looked because (according to the Guy A’s) many of them can’t rock out a bikini in quite the same way as the Girl A types? How many Guy A types over the years have I tried to hook up with nice friends (funny, smart, cute, similar interests, etc), but they just “weren’t interested.” Why? Because they feel entitled to a certain type, and won’t take substitutes. Funny how they expect others to change their standard though, so long as it serves the interests of the Guy A’s.
Girl A’s are getting sick of it, and this nice Girl A is done. Too many guys try and take advantage of their friendships, and then act like jealous whiney *ssholes when the Girl A’s (kindly and numerous times) tell them they aren’t interested.
So listen up, “nice” guys! We aren’t the problem, YOU are. We don’t want to go out with you, EVER. There is nothing wrong with US, so stop being insulting and bitter. Stop trying to buy us. Stop following us around like a puppy dog. Stop trying to HINT HINT HINT how great you think you would be as a boyfriend. YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO HAVING US AS YOUR GIRLFRIENDS!